CHRISTIAN PRIVILEGE A GUEST EDITORIAL BY ACD I'd like you all to consider the Limbaugh and Coulter and Robertson and Scalia and Lott and Rove mantra that Christians are persecuted in America. I know, it's absurd on the face of it. But as with conservative charges of "reverse racism" when discussing quotas, or the irascible grunts of the punditry over how it's so unfair that Jesse or Souljah can say something about whites that we're never allowed to say about blacks (and of course the point of the whole column is to do just that -- say the same or worse about blacks, plus call them whiners and hypocrites who cheat the rules), there is an inappropriate and often wilfully blind refusal to see the dice as loaded, the playing field tilted. Whites are not persecuted in America. Ever. Nor have they ever been. Not a single one, except maybe Vanilla Ice and Larry Bird. When the five dumbest guys in Southie who fail the police test sue the one reasonably bright but perhaps under-educated black guy from Mattapan who was offered a job but had a lower score, it says nothing about reverse discrimination. Nothing! There's no discrimination involved. What it says is that those five white guys are fucking idiots and can't own up to it. Who ever said a single score on a single test should be the arbiter of college admission or employment offers anyway??? Why the hell can't the admissions committee or HR department consider the person's background and personality and potential??? Why? Because those five dumb shits and the lawyers they hire and the hate tanks who fund them just don't like niggers. It's a plain fact. The only reason anybody attacks affirmative action is that they can't stand black folk. Period. No other excuse conceivable. As I've mentioned before, the same dumbfucks and their vicious sponsors never sue the Dubyas of the world who got into Yale with 1100 SATs, or the childhood Irish buddy of the mayor who landed a sweet patronage job. Legacy and nepotism don't trouble any of these dumbfucks and their overlords -- just blacks. There has never been persecution against whites in America. Ever. Same thing with Christians. Anybody who says Jews have too much power or that atheism has run amok are simply power-grubbing bigots or lazy fools who need to blame someone else for their own failures. They don't like jews, they don't like secular humanists, they don't like people who get laid more often than they, they don't like people who are smarter than they, they don't like people who make more money than they, they don't like people who can sleep in on a Sunday morning, etc. The notion that any Christian in this country has ever been persecuted for being Christian is absurd. The only blows to Christianity have been self-inflicted, by the disgusting behavior of Christian clergymen. There has been no mass defection to Allah or Yahweh. There has been no muzzling of the Christian voice. Christianity can't shut the fuck up, actually. All you hear about in this country, 24-7, is Jesus Jesus Jesus. From the president from the Congress, from the Supreme Court, from the media, from the lobbying organizations, from the school boards, from athletes, from musicians, from talk shows, from conventions, from charities, from doctors. Jesus Jesus Jesus. That motherfucker sure does get around for someone hiding from such persecution. So read this, from Austin Crine of Agnosticism & Atheism: Christian Privilege as a Nonconscious Ideology: The concept of “nonconscious ideology” was created to describe those ideologies whose implicit, unreflective, and uncritical acceptance help maintain their dominance in society. Sexism and racism are nonconscious ideologies in which the inferiority of one group is reinforced through a multitude of assumptions and interactions that occur outside our conscious consideration. The same is true with Christian Privilege: Christians are continuously told that they have the highest morality, more people should be like them, other beliefs are inferior, and hence Christians deserve privileges. Christian Privileges for Holidays & Holy Days: Most stores take the Christian sabbath into account Most Christians don’t have to work on their holiest days Christians can assume they will see TV specials and hear music related to their holidays Christians can erect Christian holiday displays without fearing vandalism Christians expect to be greeted with references to their holidays (Merry Christmas) Christians can ignore and be ignorant of other religions’ holidays School events will probably address Christian holidays Christian Privileges in American Culture: When traveling, Christians can assume they'll find churches of their denomination It’s easy for Christians to find a religious site to marry Christians easily find Christian movies, radio programs, and TV shows When someone talks about or thanks God, Christians can assume it’s their god Christians will find Bibles in their hotel rooms Christians have many Christian charities to donate to or get assistance from Christians needn’t worry about finding foods to meet religious dietary requirements When one marries a Christian, there is never fear of discrimination, hostility, or disapproval from one's neighbors and co-workers Christian Privileges against Discrimination and Bigotry: Christians can assume that they won’t be discriminated against because of their religion Christians can assume that their opinion won’t be ignored because of their religion Christians need not worry about moving to a place where Christians aren’t welcome Christians rarely encounter groups that exclude Christians Christians don’t worry about revealing their religion to parents, friends Christians can discriminate in ways not otherwise allowed & avoid members of other religions Christian Privileges in Schools: Christian children will see other Christians in lessons about history Christian children will participate in events relating to Christian holy days Christian children will find or easily start school clubs dedicated to Christianity Christian athletes are encouraged by Christian coaches Christian children might avoid being exposed to foreign religions Public school space is often shared with Christian churches Christians can easily find private schools that cater to their religion Christian Privilege, Fear, and Security: Christians can wear Christian clothing or jewelry without fear Christians can promote their religion on cars or houses without fear of vandalism Christians don’t have to educate their kids about persecution for their own protection Christians can ignore the language and customs of other religions without censure Christians need not worry if their religion will hinder their professional ambitions Christians don’t have to worry about hate groups dedicated to wiping out Christianity Christian Privileges in the Community: Many communities have names with Christian origins Christians can assume that most neighbors & coworkers are Christian Christians have directories of Christian-owned businesses Christian businesses can hire all Christians without trying Christians can criticize Christianity & Christian Privilege with more authority than non-Christians and without their motives being questioned Christians can assume that almost anywhere they go and anything they do, they’ll feel normal Christian Privileges with Christianity: When a Christian speaks, there is no assumption that he represents all Christian thought on a matter Whatever Christians do, they need not worry that it will reflect poorly on Christianity Christians easily shop for items related to Christianity, and many stores have Christian-specific sections Successful Christians aren’t told that they are greedy because of their religion The word “Christian” is treated as a label representing the best human attributes When a given industry or profession has many Christian members it is not considered a negative Towns where mostly Christians live are never derided as being Christian towns Christian Privileges in the Law: Where relevant, laws take the Christian sabbath (Sunday) into account Laws & regulations come with built-in exemptions for Christians & Christian beliefs. Christians can assume that most politicians are Christians who represent Christian interests Christians can criticize the government or society without being labeled cultural outsiders Christians can assume that politicians won’t attack their religion Christians assume that government-sponsored prayers will be Christian in nature (they usually are) Christians may assume that Christian philosophy generally prevails in public policy and jurisprudence Culture Wars Over Male Privilege, White Privilege, and Christian Privilege: A nonconscious ideology is analogous to the water fish swim in: fish don’t think of the water as wet because this environment is all they know — it structures their experience of life itself. Water simply is. Members of privileged groups don’t have to think about their environment because, for them, that environment simply is. They don’t have to be concerned about others’ opinions because it’s safe to assume that most think like them. Those who don’t benefit from such an environment do have to think about it all the time because they are so susceptible to being harmed by it. For members of less privileged groups, what others think matters a great deal because their opinions and actions control access to the larger benefits of society. Fish don’t have to think about the water; mammals must remain conscious of it at all times lest they drown. In most of the examples here, we can replace Christian/religion with male/gender or white/race and come up with the same results: examples of how our social, political, and cultural environment reinforce the dominance of one group over others. Male privilege and white privilege are closely related to Christian privilege because they have all been undermined by modernity and have all become part of America’s Culture Wars. Christians realize that many of the above privileges are in decline. They interpret this as persecution because privilege is all they have ever known. The same is true when men complain about the decline of male privilege and whites complain about the decline of white privilege. The defense of privilege is a defense of dominance and discrimination, but for those who benefit it’s a defense of their traditional way of life. They need to become conscious of their privileges and realize that in a free society, such privileges are inappropriate. - ACD [Yup. That's it, pretty much. - Jerky] Send all Jokes, Letters and other stuff to Jerky: jerkyleboeuf@gmail.com

ON THIS DAY March 13 On this day in 1861, demonstrating a flair for wicked irony to rival that of fellow Southerner Tennessee Williams, confederate preznit Jefferson Davis signs a bill authorizing the use of negro slaves as soldiers in the confederate (i.e. traitor) army. Thus did slaves come to fight to preserve the peculiar institution of slavery. Cortez came dancing across the water with his galleons and guns, landing in Mexico on this day in 1519. On the shore lay Montezuma, with his coca leaves and pearls. In his halls he'd often wander, with the secrets of the world. And his people gathered 'round him, like the leaves around a tree, in their clothes of many colors, for their angry Gods to see. Hate was just a legend. War was never known. The people worked together, and they lifted many stones. They carried them to the flatlands, and they died along the way, but they built up with their bare hands what we still can't do today. He came dancing across the water. Cortez, Cortez… what a killer. Pissed off because he'd been exposed as a pervert and turfed from his position as a scoutmaster, weirdo/sicko Thomas Hamilton packed a bag full of guns and strolled over to his home town's grade school on this day in the year 1996. By the time he was through, a grand total of sixteen five-and-six-year-old children -- and their teacher -- lay lifeless in a sea of blood on the cold gymnasium floor. Shaken police describe the gym as "a medieval image of hell." Immediately after the slaughter, Hamilton did what he should have done decades ago and turned the gun on himself, blowing his own brains out. Visit this website for a vivid reminder of what was lost. On this day in 1997, India's Missionaries of Charity choose Sister Nirmala to succeed Mother Teresa as their new Mother Superior... and promptly fade into total obscurity. They should have done like INXS and made their choice of a dynamic new "frontman" the subject of a thrilling "reality TV" show. They could have called it Big Mother, or Survivor: Calcutta.

THEY SAID IT! "It's an unusual step. It's a big step, but what the president did by consciously and intentionally violating the Constitution and laws of this country with this illegal wiretapping has to be answered. There can be debate about whether the law should be changed. There can be debate about how best to fight terrorism. We all believe that there should be wiretapping in appropriate cases -- but the idea that the president can just make up a law, in violation of his oath of office, has to be answered." - Senator Russ Feingold (D-WI), the only Senator to vote against the monstrous U.S.A.P.A.T.R.I.O.T.A.C.T. back in the day, takes a tentative but necessary first step towards Preznit Dubya's richly-deserved impeachment. *** **** *** "I think it’s a crazy political move and I think it in part is a political move because here we are, the Republican Party, the leadership in the Congress, supporting the President of the United States as Commander in Chief, who is out there fighting al Qaeda and the Taliban and Osama bin Laden and the people who have sworn, have sworn to destroy Western civilization and all the families listening to us. And they’re out now attacking, at least today, through this proposed censure vote, out attacking our Commander in Chief. ... And as I was listening to it, I was hoping deep inside that that the leadership in Iran and other people who have the U.S. not in their best interest are not listening because of the terrible signal it sends." - Apparently, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Asshole) -- the kitty-slaughtering, influence peddling, miracle-working inside trader with the seventh most punch-worthy face in American politics -- believes that, as long as there's somebody out there who doesn't like Americans, the Preznit must remain above the law. Holding Dubya accountable for his crimes, according to the Good Doctor, would be letting the terrorists win. And they call Feingold desperate? Nigga, please.

JOKES! Today's Irish Jokes were sent in by Nan or Ben! Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does. *** **** *** Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk. *** **** *** The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they're always assured of having a worthy opponent. *** **** *** An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?" "Who told you that?" asked Paddy. *** **** *** Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple? Answer - So the English can understand them. *** **** *** Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty." "That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?" *** **** *** Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?" Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room." *** **** *** Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, "Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantle piece?" "No," said himself, "but I'm gettin' closer all the time." *** **** *** What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? A bachelor. *** **** *** Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her of it. Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time? Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home. *** **** *** Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. "Quick!" He said. "Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!" "Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked. "No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'." *** **** *** "O'Ryan," the druggist asked, "did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife's appearance?" "It did surely," replied O'Ryan, "but it keeps fallin' off!" *** **** *** Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive? WORST JOKE OF THE DAY Today's groaner was sent in by N8Possibilities... She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table, by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local Realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10 of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods. I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU.

FIRST AMENDMENT ZONE / ASK JERKY! Hey Jerky - you know your Jenna Jameson answer actually mentions anal bleaching. Didn't you invent that in '99 or 2000? This is the first place I ever heard of it. Sixlegged [I didn't invent anal bleaching. I only perfected it. - Jerky] *** **** *** Sweeney was right! Your Oscar picks went up after the Oscars were announced. And don’t give me that “hit refresh” crap. The only reason I didn’t comment before was I figured you were setting up to prove something or other to yourself and I didn’t wanna participate. Angus McRoid [I'm afraid you are mistaken, sir, but I doubt there's anything I can do to convince you of that. Perhaps some Dirt readers who know better will come to my defense. - Jerky] *** **** *** Hey Jerky: I just finished watching the piece on Pierce Bush and have to say that I personally think he is the smartest one of the bunch. He brings up some good points. Factor in the idea that the next "Threat Incident" is orcastrated by TPTB, and not any overseas agressors, then PB makes some valid points. He also could be saying the right things for the wrong reasons. I could be wrong and have been once of twice before. Anyway Keep up the great work. YOP RW Sharp [I agree with the "wrong reasons" part. - Jerky] *** **** *** Hey Jerky; That Bush kid looks like he's related to both Bush and Rudy Guliani. I think it's the smirky mouth. D.R. [Yeah, but I bet he gets all the finest sorority pussy, brah! - Jerky] *** **** *** Hey Jerky; Google this: "The Z Machine!" Apparantly they got one to get hotter than the sun, and, they got more energy out than they put in and DONT know how. Interesting stuff! Henk [I bet you could make a really clean-burning bong out of one of those machines. - Jerky] *** **** *** Dear Mr. Jerky... So, ah... what do you think of the gay-bashing Phelps family? I've noticed that you haven't mentioned them in your column. These folks picket the military funerals and, unless I'm mistaken, their reasoning is that the soldiers died while fighting for a country that supports gay rights... all done, of course, in the "name of God". These folks have got to be the height of weird... don't you think? Cheers, Andy S. [I think "weird" is too kind and gentle a term for them. And I think they're all fags! - Jerky] *** **** *** Ciao Jerky, Obviously Poli is not in the know. The terror threat, like the 9/11 attack is all a put up job to try to keep the people in a state of fear so they will accept whatever Bush wants. I think that Osama bin Laden is not real, and is just a puppet brought out to keep the tale alive, provide a usable personal enemy and try to keep up the scare factor. Having not been subject to the constant barrage of propaganda for the last four years, I can now see how the whole thing is orchestrated. My own fearless leader, Berlusconi, rules by a total domination of the media, so he doesn't need the fear factor, which is a good thing for him, because after two murderous wars in Europe, the populace are a bit "feared out." I guess the same thing will happen in the US eventually. You can only keep the level of fear up for a limited time. Etna Fred [You sure about that? - Jerky]

Send all Jokes, Letters and other stuff to Jerky: feedback@dailydirt.com